An invisible man married an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either. I didn't think the chiropractor would improve my posture. But I stand corrected. I took my new girlfriend out on our first date to the ice rink, and entry was half price. She called me a cheap skate. Studies show cows produce more milk when the farmer talks to them. It's a case of in one ear and out the udder. I used to date a girl with one leg who worked at a brewery. She was in charge of the hops. My cross-eyed wife and I just got a divorce. I found out she was seeing someone on the side. My wife claims I'm the cheapest person she's ever met. I'm not buying it. Did you know that a raven has 17 rigid feathers called pinions, while a crow has only 16. The difference between a raven and a crow is just a matter of a pinion. I told my carpenter I didn't want carpeted steps. He gave me a blank stair. What did the surgeon say to the patient who insisted on closing up his own incision? Suture self.