Editor: final selection pending
Features Editor:Harold Armitage
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Cradley: Vacancy
Mathon: Vacancy
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OBSERVATIONS
Let us have your observations
to the Magazine
Sometimes, when I look at my children, I
say to myself, 'Lillian, you should have
remained a virgin.'
- Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)
I had a rose named after me and I was
very flattered. But I was not pleased to
read the description in the catalogue: -
'No good in a bed, but fine against a
wall.'
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest
woman I had ever seen.
I have since been visited by her sister, and now
wish to withdraw that statement.
- Mark Twain
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good
beginning and a good ending;
and to have the two as close together as
possible.
- George Burns
Be careful about reading health books.
You may die of a misprint.
- Mark Twain
By all means, marry. If you get a good
wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad
one,
you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates
I was married by a judge. I should have asked
for a jury.
- Groucho Marx
I have never hated a man enough to give his
diamonds back.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass
all four essential food groups:
alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
- Alex Levine
Money can't buy you happiness .... But it
does bring you a more pleasant form of
misery.
- Spike Milligan
I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until
noon. Then it's time for my nap.
- Bob Hope
Don't worry about avoiding temptation.
As you grow older, it will avoid you.
- Winston Churchill
Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty, but
everything else starts to wear out,
fall out, or spread out.
- Phyllis Diller
By the time a man is wise enough to
watch his step, he's too old to go
anywhere.
- Billy Crystal
And the cardiologist's diet: if it
tastes good spit it out.