Well just like the white rabbit in Alice in Wonderland “ I’m late I’m late for a very important date” I missed my deadline for this month’s issue and thanks to our wonderfully understanding Editor it will be uploaded after the site has been set up for the public to see. I know that all of my fans ( those that are still alive of course) will be driven to despair by suffering of two issues without me and my bench to guide them through this out of touch traumatic life. She who shall be obeyed brought to my attention quite vividly the problems that many face these days. Having returned from yet another shopping trip. (I sometimes think that she only goes shopping to remove herself from my infinite wisdom and pearls of knowledge because she is in awe of my gargantuan intellect and needs a break) . After the usual run down of the fact that product A was Xp last week and is now X+10p this week accompanied by my knowing acceptance nods between sips of coffee and nibble of choccie biccie she states “it’s a rip off! At least when a highwayman robbed you at least you knew he was doing it because he wore a mask and a tri-cornered hat. Later that day the conversation swung round to her single handed saving of the British bird population who inhabit the free feeding station I built for her ( well, actually the birds as she refuses to eat out there). the observation from her was that why in the winter when food is at its scarcest are the birds totally ignoring certain foods at what seems no reason. We put aside the local cats who feel they can still get the birds despite the minefield I have laid and my well rehearsed dog barking imitations. And I felt this was a conundrum well worthy of my intellect ( aforementioned) Her bird menu offering consists of mixed seen, meal worms, fat balls and pellets made from some unmentionable foodstuff which, our feathered freeloaders have happily partaken of all year. After much deliberation and use of my trusty slide rule ( youngsters look it up), I finally worked it out its………… A Mars Bar No I haven’t lost it. The older amongst us will quote chapter and verse to those of younger age range, the tale of the disappearing MARS BAR. Quite some years ago (1990) a mars bar was a great chocolate covered bar. It then , due to marketing no doubt, and the excuse that we were being saved from excess chocolate ( for our own good) until bringing us to todays offering. 1990 it hit the scales at 64g to today at 51g ( official figures show a 28% drop in weight In 1990 a bar cost 25p and in 2023 64p. So, 28% drop in size with a 110% increase in price= Rip off big time. Now this is not unique to the confectionery trade ( or others) but is of course used by many businesses. Add to this sort of practice, the added bonus of using cheaper or inferior ingredients and you can now understand why our feathered friends are turning their noses at the charitable offering from the wife. She doesn’t know that what she is buying is inferior to what she bought last year (well she doesn’t taste it) but the birds certainly do!

Where’s my good FOOD?

Footnote: in 1963 a mars bar cost tuppence halfpenny (240 pennies to the pound) Just over half of one pence in todays money (if you had a half pence piece!)